Queer Intimacy Coaching Melbourne | LGBTQIA+ Sex Education

Developing confidence, connection and intimacy skills, at your own pace.

Knowing you’re queer and knowing what to do about it are two very different things.

You might be completely comfortable with your sexuality or gender identity, yet feel surprisingly inexperienced when it comes to physical intimacy. Perhaps you’ve known you’re attracted to the same sex for years but never actually been with one. Maybe you’ve recently come out and are excited about exploring, but the thought of taking that first step is terrifying.

Or perhaps you’ve been happily queer for decades, but life, relationships, circumstances or a lack of opportunities have left parts of your sexuality largely unexplored.

There can be an enormous gap between knowing what you want intellectually and feeling confident enough to experience it.

And when everyone around you seems to know what they’re doing, it can be difficult to admit that you don’t.

My Queer Intimacy Exploration Programme offers personalised, LGBTQIA+ affirming intimacy coaching and hands-on sex education through a series of one-on-one sessions.

It’s an opportunity to ask questions, develop practical skills, explore your desires and experience intimacy in a supportive environment, without pressure to perform or expectations about where things need to lead.

You don’t need to be experienced, confident, or even entirely sure what you’re looking for.

We take our time. We get curious. And we figure things out together.

Queer Doesn’t Come With an Instruction Manual

There’s a funny expectation that once you’ve figured out you’re queer, everything else should somehow fall into place.

But knowing who you’re attracted to doesn’t automatically tell you how to flirt with them, how to initiate intimacy, how to communicate your desires, or what to do when you’re finally naked together.

And being comfortable with your gender identity doesn’t necessarily mean feeling comfortable with your body during sex.

For many queer people, opportunities to explore intimacy haven’t always been straightforward.

Perhaps you grew up without queer role models or meaningful sex education that reflected your experiences. Maybe you spent years in heterosexual relationships before recognising your sexuality, or you’ve struggled to find partners with whom you feel safe enough to experiment.

Perhaps you worry about being judged for your inexperience, particularly when you feel you’re supposed to know these things by now.

Or maybe there’s nothing particularly complicated about your relationship with queerness. You’ve simply never had much opportunity to learn.

There’s no minimum level of sexual experience required to be queer, and no obligation to prove your identity through sex.

But if you’d like to develop your skills, confidence and comfort with intimacy, I’d love to help you explore.

Who Is This Programme For?

I created this programme with a particular affection for queer people who could benefit from a softer landing into intimacy.

You might be:

Newly out or exploring your sexuality. Perhaps you’ve recently recognised that you’re lesbian, bisexual, pansexual or otherwise queer, and you’re wondering what intimacy might look like outside the experiences you’ve had before. You might feel excited, curious, nervous, or completely overwhelmed by the possibilities.
A lesbian or sapphic person with limited experience. Maybe you’ve known you’re attracted to women for years but haven’t had many opportunities to explore that attraction physically. Perhaps you’re worried that a future partner will expect you to know what you’re doing, or that your lack of experience will somehow make you less authentically queer.
Trans, non-binary or gender-diverse. Perhaps you’re exploring how you want to experience intimacy in a way that affirms your gender. You might be navigating changes in your relationship with your body, discovering new preferences, or learning how to communicate what feels good, what doesn’t, and how you want to be touched.
Comfortable in your queerness, but inexperienced with intimacy. You might have been proudly queer for decades, with a strong sense of identity and community, but relatively little practical sexual experience. Your identity isn’t new. You simply haven’t had the opportunities to explore everything you’d like to.
Finding your sexuality after a long-term relationship. Perhaps you’ve spent years with the same partner, settling into familiar routines that eventually became a rut. Maybe your needs weren’t being met, your partner had little interest in sex, or there simply wasn’t much room for curiosity and exploration. You might have plenty of sexual experience, yet feel surprisingly inexperienced outside that relationship. Perhaps you’ve never had the opportunity to explore the kinds of intimacy that truly interest you, or parts of your sexuality that didn’t have much room to grow.
Preparing to enter or re-enter the queer dating world. Maybe you’re newly single, newly out, or considering dating again after years away. You might be excited about meeting people but apprehensive about the intimacy that could follow. Perhaps you’d like to develop confidence, brush up on your skills, and become more comfortable with yourself before navigating a new relationship.
A queer adult virgin or late bloomer. Whether you’re 25, 45 or 65, there’s no deadline for sexual experience. You might feel left behind, embarrassed about your inexperience, or uncertain about how to begin. You deserve an opportunity to explore without feeling like you’re playing catch-up.
Returning to intimacy after loss. Perhaps you’ve lost a partner, and the idea of becoming physically intimate with somebody new brings complicated emotions. You might feel ready for affection or sexuality again, but unsure how to navigate the experience with someone unfamiliar.
Struggling with vulnerability or self-consciousness. Perhaps you can talk confidently about sex but find yourself freezing, overthinking, making jokes, or disconnecting when intimacy becomes real. You might know exactly what you’d like to experience but struggle to let yourself experience it.
Wanting to develop your practical intimacy skills. Perhaps you’re interested in becoming a more confident lover, learning about different bodies, exploring touch and pleasure, developing communication skills, or discovering how to initiate intimacy without feeling awkward.

You don’t need to be struggling with your identity, recovering from a difficult experience or facing any particular challenge to benefit.

Sometimes you simply need somewhere you can be inexperienced without feeling embarrassed about it.

All Ages, All Bodies, All Levels of Experience

Whether you’re 18 or 80, you’re welcome here.

Perhaps you’re young and nervous about taking your first steps into intimacy. Or perhaps you’re older, and worried that your age, body or lack of experience might make things awkward.

You might feel like you’ve missed the boat, or that everyone else figured this stuff out decades ago.

I promise you, there’s no age limit on curiosity, sexual exploration or learning something new about yourself.

I welcome adults of all ages (18+), ethnicities, shapes, sizes, gender identities and expressions. You don’t need to look a certain way, have a particular kind of body, or meet anyone’s expectations of what sexy is supposed to look like.

I’m completely at ease with trans and gender-diverse bodies, whether pre-op, post-op, non-op or somewhere in between. I understand that different people have very different relationships with their bodies, anatomy and the ways they want to experience intimacy.

Perhaps certain parts of your body feel wonderful to have touched, while others are off-limits. Maybe you use particular language for your anatomy, or have preferences around how your body is seen and experienced.

We can explore what feels comfortable, affirming and pleasurable for you, without assumptions about what you should want or enjoy.

You don’t need to apologise for your body, explain away your inexperience, or worry that I’ll find something about you strange or unfamiliar.

Whatever your age, whatever your body, and wherever you are in your relationship with sex and intimacy, you deserve the opportunity to explore with curiosity, dignity and confidence.

There’s More to Queer Intimacy Than Knowing What to Do With Your Hands

Practical sexual skills are absolutely something we can explore together. But there’s so much more to intimacy than technique.

Our experiences, expectations, insecurities and learned behaviours all influence how we connect with others.

For queer people, there can be additional layers to unpack.

Perhaps you’ve spent years learning to suppress or disguise your desires. Maybe you’ve internalised expectations about what sex should look like, what roles people should play, or how particular bodies are supposed to behave.

You might have a very clear understanding of your sexual identity, but still struggle to express desire when you’re face to face with someone you’re attracted to.

You might know intellectually that there’s nothing wrong with being inexperienced, but still feel embarrassed when somebody touches you.

You might be perfectly capable of communicating your boundaries in everyday life, but suddenly lose your words in an intimate moment.

You might desperately want closeness, yet find yourself making jokes, changing the subject or pulling away when somebody gets too close.

These things are worth being curious about.

Together, we can explore the psychology of intimacy alongside the practical skills that help us experience it more comfortably.

Depending on your interests and needs, we might work on:

Understanding desire, arousal, pleasure and sexual response.
Exploring queer sexual experiences and techniques that interest you.
Becoming more comfortable with touch, closeness and vulnerability.
Developing a more comfortable, affirming relationship with your body.
Recognising what you want and communicating it clearly.
Practising consent, boundaries and asking for what you need.
Developing confidence with eye contact, flirting, initiating intimacy and expressing affection.
Learning practical sexual skills through guided experience and honest feedback.
Recognising when you’re overthinking, performing or losing connection with yourself.
Examining assumptions about gender, sexual roles and what intimacy is supposed to look like.
Exploring how past relationships, experiences or insecurities influence intimacy.
Becoming more comfortable with awkwardness, uncertainty and not knowing what comes next.

Some of this learning happens through conversation. Some happens through simple exercises, and some may happen through physical intimacy itself.

The important thing is that we’re not simply talking about these skills in theory. Where appropriate, we have opportunities to practise them together, notice what happens, and explore things differently.

You don’t need to know how to be a good lover before you begin. That’s part of what we’re here to learn.

How the Programme Works

Rather than trying to fit everything into a single appointment, we give ourselves the opportunity to build familiarity and confidence over several meetings.

There is no fixed curriculum. Your interests, experiences, boundaries and goals will guide what we explore.

Session One: Getting to Know Each Other

2 hours: an extended introductory session

Our first hour together is dedicated to conversation.

No nudity, no physical touch, and no expectation that we’re going to get straight down to business.

We might talk about your experiences with queerness, your curiosities, what you’d like to learn, what feels difficult, and what you’d like to be different.

Maybe you have a hundred questions about queer sex that you’ve never felt comfortable asking. Perhaps you’re curious about particular experiences or sexual techniques, or you want to explore the expectations and insecurities that have been holding you back.

We can discuss the psychology of intimacy, explore your questions, and begin getting comfortable with one another.

I want you to have an opportunity to meet me as a person, not just as somebody you’re expected to be intimate with.

During the second hour, we can begin exploring some gentle practical exercises or physical intimacy, if that feels right for both of us.

Or we might simply keep talking.

There’s no predetermined destination, and no need to accomplish anything before the clock runs out.

Sessions Two, Three and Four: Exploring Together

90 minutes each: personalised follow-up sessions

If we both feel that the programme is a good fit, we can continue through a series of shorter appointments.

By now, we’re no longer complete strangers. We’ve had an opportunity to get to know each other, discuss your goals, and begin developing a sense of familiarity.

We can build on what we’ve explored previously, introduce new experiences, practise skills and reflect on what you’re learning.

Some sessions might be mostly conversation. Others might involve more hands-on exploration.

Perhaps there’s a particular aspect of queer intimacy you’re curious about. Maybe you’d like to practise initiating touch, communicating desire, understanding another person’s responses, or becoming more comfortable receiving affection and pleasure.

We might spend time examining something you found difficult in a previous session, practising practical skills, or discovering something entirely unexpected.

There’s no expectation that every appointment becomes progressively more physical. Sometimes learning means slowing down, revisiting something familiar, or recognising that you don’t actually want what you thought you wanted.

We’ll follow what feels useful to you.

No Pressure to Perform, Progress or Prove Your Queerness

One of the reasons I’ve created this programme is that I don’t want the experience of learning intimacy to become another source of pressure.

When you’re nervous, an hour can disappear remarkably quickly. And knowing that the clock is ticking can create a sense that you need to get your money’s worth, make something happen, or push through your discomfort.

That’s the very opposite of what I want for you.

I’m interested in helping you explore the edges of your comfort zone, but not in pushing you past your boundaries.

You can say no. You can change your mind. You can ask to slow down, take a break, return to conversation, or finish early.

If something feels awkward, we can talk about it. If you burst out laughing, that’s okay too.

And if we spend an entire session talking about why intimacy feels difficult, that can be a valuable experience in itself.

You don’t owe me a performance, an orgasm, a particular response, or any level of physical intimacy.

You also don’t need to prove your queerness to me.

There’s no expectation that you enjoy particular sexual activities because of your identity, that your body responds in a particular way, or that your experiences look like anybody else’s.

The goal is to develop skills and self-awareness that you can carry into your future intimate experiences, rather than to complete a checklist of sexual achievements.

Why Explore Queer Intimacy With Me?

I’m Ember August, a queer, non-binary independent companion and sex educator with a particular passion for consent, communication, sexuality and the complexities of human connection.

As a queer and neurodivergent person myself, I’m very comfortable with people whose experiences don’t fit neatly into conventional expectations around sex, gender or relationships.

I’ve spent years working with people across a wide range of ages, bodies, identities and experience levels.

I understand that queer intimacy can involve questions and considerations that aren’t always addressed in conventional sex education.

I’m comfortable talking about different bodies, different kinds of attraction, gender affirmation, dysphoria, desire, relationship structures and the many ways people experience sexuality.

And I don’t assume that somebody’s identity tells me what they enjoy, how they want to be touched, or what kind of sex they’re interested in.

I love the practical side of sex education, but I’m equally fascinated by the psychology of intimacy. Why we want what we want, why we sometimes struggle to ask for it, and why being close to another person can feel both wonderful and terrifying.

My approach is warm, candid, curious and collaborative. I’m happy to talk openly about things that might feel embarrassing elsewhere, and I’m not afraid of a little awkwardness.

I also draw on embodiment practices and principles from Betty Martin’s Wheel of Consent to help people develop greater awareness of their desires, boundaries and choices.

This programme isn’t psychotherapy or trauma treatment, and I don’t promise to resolve longstanding psychological difficulties. What I offer is a practical, supportive learning experience, grounded in communication, consent and real human interaction.

I’m not here to tell you what queer intimacy should look like.

I’m here to help you discover what it can look like for you.

Programme Structure & Investment

The Queer Intimacy Exploration Programme is designed as a short series of personalised educational sessions. This is a dedicated learning experience combining candid conversation, practical skill-building, an exploration of the psychology of intimacy, and hands-on sexual experiences where mutually comfortable.

Introductory session: 2 hours for $900.
Follow-up sessions: Up to three additional 90-minute appointments at the special programme rate of $700 each.
Complete four-session programme: $3,000, compared with $3,900 at my regular rates.

These reduced rates are specifically for clients whose goals are suited to this style of ongoing educational work. After the programme, my regular rates apply to any further appointments.

There’s no requirement to pay for the entire series upfront, and no obligation to continue if you decide the programme isn’t right for you.

We’ll discuss what you’re hoping to gain from the experience before arranging our first appointment, and decide together whether this is an appropriate fit.

Not Sure Where to Begin?

That’s completely okay.

Perhaps you’ve been thinking about exploring queer intimacy for years but haven’t quite known how to take the first step.

Maybe you’ve only recently started thinking about it.

Or perhaps you’re already very comfortable in your queerness, but would love the opportunity to learn something new about yourself in a supportive, judgement-free environment.

You don’t need to have clearly defined goals or a list of things you want to learn. Sometimes recognising that something feels difficult, unfamiliar or intimidating is enough of a starting point.

You’re welcome to tell me a little about yourself, what brings you here, and what you hope might be different after spending some time together.

I offer in-person appointments in Melbourne’s western suburbs, with Geelong arrangements also possible.

You can contact me via SMS or WhatsApp on 0435 349 800.

When you enquire, let me know that you’re interested in the Queer Intimacy Exploration Programme and share a little about what you’re hoping to explore.

You don’t have to tell me your whole life story. Just enough for us to begin a conversation.

I’m looking forward to meeting you.

Prefer to Keep Your Clothes On?

Not everyone who wants to learn about queer sex and intimacy necessarily wants to have sex with me, and that’s absolutely fine!

If you’re interested in exploring your sexuality, understanding your desires, unpacking insecurities, navigating gender-related questions, or developing your confidence and communication skills, but would prefer to keep things non-sexual, I offer a couple of other options.

Candid Sex Ed Chats are relaxed, open conversations where you can ask questions, explore ideas, and talk through anything relating to sex, sexuality, relationships and intimacy. No nudity or physical touch, just honest conversation in a comfortable, judgement-free space.

Embodied Choice Coaching takes things a little further, combining conversation with practical, non-sexual exercises to explore consent, boundaries, desire, communication and our relationships with touch. It’s an opportunity to develop greater awareness of what you want, how to ask for it, and how to recognise and respect the choices of others.

Both are wonderful ways to explore the psychology and practical skills of intimacy without sexual activity being part of the experience.

You don’t have to get naked to learn something about yourself!

Queer Intimacy Exploration Programme | LGBTQIA+ Intimacy Coaching and Hands-On Sex Education in Melbourne